Author: Ashley

Kids this week have no respect for anything. I know what it’s like to be a bored teenager with nothing to do, I was young once! I also can’t remember that raising a little hell plus causing some mischief was the best way to relieve the boredom of small city life. This is definitely why so many rural kids indulge in drinking, drugs, plus premarital sex – because there is nothing else to do! All that said, my friends plus I never went out to cause crimes or harm property. I assume the teens this week are more delinquent than I was, because there has been a rash of vandalism throughout the city that even touched the cannabis dispensary. Why would they do this? Maybe because they don’t have access to legal cannabis like the adults do, or maybe they’re just jerks. In any event, this has caused an increase of prices at the cannabis dispensary, because they had to hire overnight security guards. Of course the punk kids don’t graffiti tag the cannabis dispensary during the day, only in the wee hours of the night. Now there is another overnight security guard that is parked out front of the cannabis shop… He doesn’t have a gun or anything, but he keeps an eye on the cannabis shop to make sure nobody messes with it. I understand why they had to do it, despite the fact that I hate that they raised prices on the premium cannabis strains by 10% to pay for the extra expense. Things like this is why everyone hates kids! Maybe they would easily behave better if they had legal access to cannabis.

 

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Over the last few months the local homeless population has grown by leaps and bounds.

The last major hurricane ravaged the southern end of the state, and drove a lot of indigent folks farther north, where many of them settled around our town.

I don’t mean to sound uncaring, but when I get asked 15 times a day for spare change it wears on my nerves. What used to be a personal pet peeve has started to impact my work. There is usually a line of clients waiting outside the store, so the homeless people have started to hang out here. The people who visit a cannabis dispensary tend to be kind, and are often stoned, which makes them easy targets. This impacts my business, because so many clients are bothered by the vagrants asking for the money that they have started going to other cannabis dispensaries! I had a brainstorm session with my staff, and we hatched the idea of offering free cannabis delivery for our Platinum customers. This would encourage more people to join our Platinum program, and allow them to order their cannabis products from the comfort of home. It was an elegant solution, and one that paid off huge dividends. Our cannabis sales quickly started to grow, and we added more and more new customers. The convenience of having cannabis delivered to your home was very appealing to our customers. Now foot traffic in the cannabis dispensary is down, but overall our sales are better than ever! I guess this whole situation was a blessing in disguise.

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Her name is Mona.

She is new in town, and the newest employee of the local cannabis dispensary.

Mona is simply breathtaking, and she’s also very smart and witty. Before she was hired I would visit the store once or twice a month to stock up on cannabis products. Now that she runs the front counter I go in more often to buy less product, just for the chance to see her! It turns out I am not alone, and there are a few other customers who have started coming in more often for a chance to talk to Mona. I overheard the manager of the cannabis dispensary tell Mona that he should give her a raise because her presence has boosted sales. Here is my main problem – I am dying to ask her out on a date, but I don’t want to make it awkward between us. If she turns me down, I will feel weird going back to that same cannabis dispensary. There is also the problem of finding the opportunity, because every time I want to take a shot, one of the other cannabis customers beats me to it! During my last three trips to the cannabis shop I have witnessed guys asking Mona out, and getting rejected! Instead of pushing things too far, maybe I will just stay chill, keep buying cannabis like normal, and wait for the perfect opportunity to present itself. If that moment never comes, at least I will never feel awkward buying cannabis from Mona. Or maybe I should just man up and take my shot!

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Whenever I visit the beach, I always need to have the Two Bs – beer and buds.

• One of the most relaxing things in the world is to spend a few hours chilling on the beach.

I love to lay on the warm sand, hearing the rush and roar of the waves crashing against the shoreline. I can do that for hours on end, so long as I have the Two Bs I never get bored. This latest beach trip was a little different, because it was in an exclusive resort. There beers there cost five bucks each, and there was a strict no smoking policy, both for tobacco and cannabis. First of all, who can afford five dollar beers, and second of all how am I supposed to relax without a cannabis joint between my fingers? I used Google to find the nearest cannabis dispensary, and took an Uber over there as soon as it opened. It was my lucky day, because the cannabis dispensary offered a sweet 20% discount for all first-time customers. I was stoked, so I bought a full ounce of OG Kush even though I knew I couldn’t smoke it at the resort. I also bought a vape pen, a few carts of cannabis oil, and a package of edibles. While I always prefer to smoke a real joint, I will admit that the vape products got the job done. I had a nice, easy stone for the rest of the trip, and the cannabis edibles put me right over the top! It was a good trip, but next time I’ll choose a cannabis-friendly resort.

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I used to have a major drinking problem.

I know that alcoholism has genetic influences, but in my case it was just stress and boredom.

I would pound cocktails until I got blackout drunk or did something stupid, which turned out to be rather often. After college I discovered the joys of smoking marijuana, and started to drink much less. Weed settles my nerves without making me act a fool, or lose my temper. The only problem arises when I am drinking booze and getting stoned at the same time. I can get so high that I forget how much I’m drinking, and then the cumulative effects of the booze and the cannabis get too much for me to handle. I always have cannabis at home, usually several different strains so I can pick the one that fits my mood, but I never keep alcohol in the house. Cannabis is medicine, but to me booze is like a ticking time bomb! When I go out on the town with friends, I will take a few cannabis edibles with me, but even then I am tempted to drink. I found a wonderful solution to my problem, when the local dispensary started selling cannabis drinks. Now I can drink socially without needing alcohol, because the cannabis drinks give me a wicked buzz! One day I hope all bars and taverns keep cannabis drinks in stock, because I think they are pretty amazing. If you’ve never tried cannabis drinks before, I recommend giving them a chance. They are so much better than drinking beer or liquor!

 

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